The Cost of Groceries

I don’t know what’s going on lately, but the only reason our grocery bill has been so high must be that the dog  has grown thumbs and has long last figured out to open the fridge. That’s the only reasonable explanation we can think of.

There’s just the two of us here at the OK corral and but in the past two weeks we’ve burned through $460.00 on food. That’s a lot of money in our  world. B makes a good wage, and I try my best but holy smokes where does the food go?

Granted we picked up at the grocery store some gift cards for birthdays and baptisms and who knows what else. The conversation at the store usually goes something like this:

B: “We need to get xxx  a gift for xxx”.

Me. “ We do? Why?

B: Because we do. Life is expensive.

Me:  sigh.

And this brings me to my next rant : Half of what we bought at the grocery store was not food. Unless you count paper towels, batteries, shampoos and toothpaste as food. I think eventually it will all be one big store called **store **and there won’t be any need to go to individual stores anymore.

Also,  I’ve never seen us go through the toothpaste like we have lately.  Again, I blame the dog. Her teeth are looking mighty white lately. I know she sleeps on the couch while we’re away so  I don’t put the toothpaste thing past her as she’s pretty smart.

And why isn’t there an app for my phone called “Where’s my Wife?”.  I’ll be in the aisle and then I turn around and she is gone. One minute I’m looking for raisin bran and then  I spend twenty minutes roaming the aisles looking for her as she has disappeared and then I find her eight aisles over after. I just don’t understand, and I hate using my phone to call her and ask where she is…it just seems wrong. I’m a grown man in a grocery store. Surely I can keep tabs on my SO for more than five minutes.