Flower Power

This is just a shorty: BW needed proof that I kept the front flowers alive while she’s been away. I think I’ve done a pretty good job dontchathink? ?









A is for Agraphobia

It’s no secret that I’m an indoor kid.

I mean..helllo….there’s a WHOLE internet out there waiting to explored at your fingertips. And due to my nature I love to read and there’s loads of stuff online to read online and so… why go out? I’ve got a dog at my feet, a cup of tea and there’s a cool breeze from the window and the neighbourhood owl is telling me it’s almost time for bed. I’m set - nothing is needed outside the home.

But the problem with this reputation is when you do slip outside of the expected you get in trouble.

I present to you:

Ways a Husband Can Get In Trouble: Number 2454

Here’s the scene: It’s Sat am. I’ve been online for a few hours in the AM but eventually hunger and dog wanting a walk dictated that I get off my butt and do something about both of those problems.

So I got up and walked away from the computer and dealt with the dog and my stomach. And, I figured while I was standing I may as well run the broom around the floor and unload the dishwasher, and I think I even cut the lawn too - doesn’t matter

What does matter is that **BW likes to keep tabs on me at all times. ** So she saw that I wasn’t online on facebook or skype or a gagillion other ways we’ve been communicating online these past few weeks and so **BW started to get worried. **.

So she called. From Paraguay

BW: Where were you?

ME: what do you mean?

BW: You weren’t online

ME: Yeah, like for an HOUR.

A guy can’t win. He gets teased constantly by friends and wife (and to both friend and wife reading this: wife needs pantry - you two deal with each other now. I’m out) about being an indoor kid and secretly hanging upside down by his anti-gravity boots bu when I do go out I get panicky phone calls from BW. Again, I need to empasize this: **I was away from the computer for about an hour, two tops. **

Now I suppose I am to blame for this. If I tended to be more extroverted it would be assumed I would be out all the time, but I doubt that would work out too well either becauase then the complaint would be that I’m never home..

I guess the lesson learned here is being married is just like being 10 years old: You have to let somebody know where you’re going, and make sure you’re home when the streetlights come on.

Of Mice and Men

This is a story about shoelaces

You see, here at chez 440 we have a rule - no shoes in the house.

An due to the fact we live in a drive-able only suburban area -  except for a spin around the  block with my four legged friend - we drive the car and use the door between the garage and the house way more than the front door which is just for the odd guest and the UPS guy.

And due to this fact, and we find it’s just a good practice - we kick off our shoes in the garage.

Now for years this little system works great for a few reasons:

You’re not tripping over shoes at the door, the dog can’t eat your shoes. Yes, it’s been done. (BAD DOG), and I don’t have to vacuum as often due to the fact that there’s less dirt tracked in my us humans anyway.


I go out to the garage to toss on my shoes and the shoelaces are gone. Well, they’re there but there’s hardly an inch to grab on to to tie with and the plastic ends are gone and what’s left of the ends are frayed to bits.

I didn’t think much of it and just grabbed another pair to put on.

The next day I go out and go to put on my footwear and this is another pair of shoes that has it’s ends gone. gone. gone.

What the heck?

Then it dawned on me: Mice! (at least  I think so)

The little buggers have been chewing on my shoelaces. Often we’ll leave the garage open until it’s time to go to bed and so my guess is  they have found a love for my shoelaces recently and all they leave me is the nubs. Little buggers.

So,  I go to the dollar store and find  eight pairs of shoelaces for just a buck! Woo Hoo! That’s 12.5 cents a pair - a pretty good deal.

I get home, yank  a pair out and start lacing.  I only get  halfway. These laces are short! real short! Aw man I thought:  you mean to tell me I bought the wrong size? Also: there’s sizes????!!

But then further inspection realized that I bought the variety pack of shoelaces with various sizes from 27 inches to 54 inches in length. We now have extra shoelaces for any foot size. If you need  shoelaces call me first. I can help.

Lessons learned?

Shoelaces are tasty to mice.

Shoelaces come in sizes.

I can write an entire blog post about shoelaces.

PS. 7 more sleeps!

No Internet, No Respect and No More Jobs on the List

Item number 1:

The Internet was down today, and both the dog and I were not happy about it. There were cable guys in the backyard today changing one beige box for a brown box in the back corner. They were there for a few hours and were waist deep in mud digging and dragging to and fro.

Let me tell you, the dog was NOT happy about this development. How dare anybody go in her backyard? Of course, lots of barking and barking today just because she can.

Meanwhile, for yours truly I had just found my groove working when I went to reload a page and OH NO NO INTERNET. How did d we live before the internet? I think magazines were big. Also, I remember going outside more.

Once I realized the internet was going to be down for a while, I thought: Oh no! What do I do? So after some thought i knew what to do: I present to you:

Item number 2.

I have officially cleaned all that can or will be cleaned while BW is away. Including the fiddly stuff:

Cleaning under the sink:


Cleaning of the cutlery drawers:


All wrapped up:



All Lids Match:


Item number 3.

My phone chirps this am, and it’s a text message from my MIL asking how I am doing,which was very nice. I’m a lucky guy and I thanked her for thinking of me.

But then, she blew it.

Her next message was “Is the pantry done yet?”.

I can’t win.

In the meantime, watch this space for further developments: