I can’t believe I’m sharing this on the internet but it’s true.

BW has been cheating on me.

Yes, she’s been watching a new netflix series without me!. *

She calls it ‘tabletto’-her little movie watching tablet she bought for her trip. And it was love at first sight. In hindsight I should have seen this coming,the way she spent hours with it under her blanket at night caressing its face.

“What are you doing?” I would ask and she told me she was reading the New York Times. I never thought it would come to this. I believed her.

I was told the new tablet purchase was for downloading books - you know - all proffessory and the like. So gullible like I am, I believed her. I feel so betrayed.

But as soon as she left our happy little home she broke the one sacred rule in our household:

She watched a show on the TV without me!

I thought for sure we had the talk before we left: “Be true to me” I said - reminding her of our sacred vows to consume mindless drivel on the TV together for ever and ever. (I’m pretty sure that’s what the minister said on our wedding day. Something about sickness and in health too, but I don’t really recall, because I was so nervous I thought I was going to pass out)

Anyway, the TV watching.

Like newlyweds we were, we watched so many shows together. The cooking shows, the real estate shows, the west wing, game of thrones, a series about mormons and even NFL football games!

But with a click of a button on her tablet she pressed play - never thinking of the consequences. I’ll never be able to catch up with her manic watching of episode after episode.

There’s just no way this will ever work now. Our circle of trust has been broken.

It wasn’t always like this. We used to make tea and hold hands with the pale blue glow reflecting off the walls and our happy faces and with a farting dog at our feet we’d bask in the glow of the characters on the big screen, for they seemed larger than life.

But now, it’s different.

She’ll always be a season or two ahead of me now. It will never be like it was before.

“But I didn’t know it would upset you so much” she said when I asked her why, oh why, oh why???!! How could she do this?

“You can catch up” she said, but it was too late. She knew too much. Her life included new characters now with stories I knew nothing of.

In despair I resorted to old Carol Burnett reruns on youtube. It was all I could handle. The one show that didn’t remind me of her.

I tried to watch other shows on netflix but the pain was so great. Every series listed was just too harsh a reminder of the good times we once had.

She told me: “I’ll stop”. But she doesn’t understand the pain. Watching an episode knowing she’s already watched it. Oh, I can’t even imagine the horror.

“You’ll like the show” she said,trying to convince me to watch and watch to get our TV watching clocks synched once again but I can’t somehow feel like this will never be the same again. “It’s weird, you’ll like it” she said. “Don’t tell me the name! I don’t want to know!” I said as I quickly changed the topic.

I needed something new to talk about. Another topic - the weather, the dog, her work, something.

I asked her when she was coming back?

“Soon” , she replied

“Good” I said, “I found this show…looks pretty good…..”

Less than 2 weeks to go. Not that I’m counting.

_* “Orange is the New Black” On netflix.